Life is full of surprises, at least for me. It all started from my conversations with you a month ago. Me and Mama Mama was eating breakfast when suddenly open discussion.
"Until when I had to take care of you, Ben?" The question stunned me Mama.
"You mean?" I looked at Mama. Try to guess the direction the conversation.
"Well, is not it time there was another woman who accompanied you breakfast?" She smiled at me.
Maybe it was about time I got married. This year I'm thirty-five years. Income as a manager in one of the foreign companies is sufficient to settle down. Moreover, the expected? This question is very often heard from relatives or colleagues.
I smiled a little.
"I know, you feel responsible to Mom and your sisters. But do not forget that one. She was married, Goddess, too. While Mama had more than enough to receive attention. I'm so grateful to have a child like you. "
I was silent.
"Bram, Papa titip Mira and Mother Goddess ... well ..." Papa whispered softly day before his death, ten years ago. At that time, she had just entered college and the Goddess is still a high school class. Since then, my days filled with hard work to provide for the family.
"Ben ..." You waiting for my answer.
"Yes, yes, God willing. Ma ... "
Mama was right. No more reason for me to delay a family plan. Dewi had been married three months ago. Papa's kutunaikan Amanah. The question is, who she was going to marry? I never went out. I'm afraid to get caught doing bad deeds. Alternative candidates are also not there. So, who's going kulamar?
Actually, I can ask for help to others. Mama, relatives or colleagues would gladly will try to help. However, before asking for help from someone else, I'll pray Istikharah first. I want to go quietly.
And the miracle happened. After two times prayers, suddenly appeared in my dreams Barrel. So clear. Barrel? I was stunned. The barrel was in college in the Post-Graduate. For nearly two this semester I'm going to school in one of PT famous in Jakarta. He is very intelligent and rational. He also often membantaiku in discussions in the lecture hall.
"In my opinion, a theory which you use to analyze this issue is not appropriate. Too forced ... "Comments barrel during the previous week membantaiku came back in my ears. Comments politely say that always made me gelagapan. His comments are always logical, scientific and hard to argue with. Many times I and my friends 'dibantainya'.
Yes, why should Barrel? Women whose personality was so strong and calm, until there was a man who dared to establish a closer relationship with him. Actually a good barrel, very good. He was never reluctant to help others or say rude. But I really hesitate to deal with. Especially the thought of proposing to her.
The dream also leaves it for me. Is this sign of God? Or, I secretly liked it, so the figure appears in my dreams Barrel. I hesitated.
"How, Ben?" I ask for clarification from me two weeks later. I was only able to smile wryly.
"No candidate? What should Mom do? "Mama looked at me.
I stammered. "No, Ma. I will try to find himself alone. "She smiled. I sighed with relief. For a while I managed to calm Mama.
That night, I tried to calm down and started praying Istikharah again. This time, I try to be more calm and resigned to God. I tried to let go of all doubts and earnestly requested his decision.
I walked side by side with the barrel. So close. Barrel smiled. Sweet and very gentle. Dream again! I woke up at three o'clock before dawn. Form still had a strange feeling I felt when I woke up. Beautiful!
Is Barrel is Daya? The question was again playing in my mind. I tried to probe again the clarity of my heart. Really I am not obsessed to the Barrel? I break down again all my interactions with the barrel. Since the first meeting.
"I Barrel!" He introduced himself to the straightforward, without a smile. Also, without a handshake. I just nodded.
"Ben." I said my name. Cold, but pretty decent. It's my first impression. He was not vain or talkative as one of two women who've ever known. As I recall, there never was a special moment between me and Barrel. Really only the relationship between college friend. I'm actually more familiar with Susi, another college friend. I also never felt 'weird' when interacting or passed him. Even when I almost collided with him. All natural and casual.
So? I still doubt. I decided to wait until actually felt confident. And during that waiting period, there was an incident that made me cringe more Laras face.
"Sorry ..." Barrel raised my hand. All eyes were on him. I held my breath. What would he say this time. I waited pounding his comments on kupresentasikan paper.
"In my opinion, this paper does not meet the scientific qualifications." The words he spoke in an apologetic tone. I was surprised. This paper was prepare in a hurry. My job in the office are stacked. Some friends murmured. Professor smiled a little. He's used to dealing Barrel.
I felt insulted and humiliated. This is the harshest comments ever uttered to me Laras. Although then I can accept it when he explained the weaknesses argumentative papers.
The incident made me even more hesitant. I do not know, maybe I was not ready to have a wife who can membantaiku any time. Or question the wisdom as a husband. I was not accustomed to such a question. Position as the eldest child and the family backbone make my sisters and Mama in a special treat. What it says Mas, Mas ... Always up that I heard from them. Even if they do not agree with me, no one had ever expressed disapproval straightly. So also with subordinates in the office.
I do not dare confront the more after the event. So, for now I have to calm down again. But pressure from Mom three days ago made me compelled to act.
"Bram, maybe it's time for Mama's help. For a month, and you have not acted anything. Mama's getting older, Bram. Lately, Mom more often sick. Mama does not want to happen something about Mama before you get married ... "She said half-pleading. I looked down.
"Bram ..."
I looked at Mama. Mom took a deep breath. I waited for Mama to speak.
"If three days there was no decision, Mama's going to find candidates for you. You know Nita? Son of Mrs. Retno? Good woman, you know ... She's also beautiful and educated ... "Blah ... blah ... blah. Nearly fifteen minutes Mama told me about Nita. I know Nita. Nita is good, but that's not the issue. I want to solve the problem first barrel.
There is no other way. Finally, my heart kumantapkan to talk with Barrel. But, how? Over the phone? Barrel phone numbers I do not have. Or, to talk to him directly? What if he refused and as he massacred membantaiku papers?
Finally, I decided to ask for phone numbers of Susi Barrel. I managed to dodge the question by giving it a form of Susi strange smile. Fortunately, he did not inquire further.
That night, I tried calling Barrel. I held my Hp is not feeling karuan. With trembling hands I called.
"Hello, Assalamu'alaykum!" His voice was firm. Suddenly I felt not ready to talk to him.
"Hello! Hello! "
I turned off my Hp. Looser! I muttered to myself. I'm really helpless.
"Bram, time to live today." She looked at me seriously when I said goodbye this morning.
"Yes, Ma. I try. "I replied hesitantly.
So, today, would not want me to talk with Barrel. I went to college with nervous. Arriving at the campus, I was looking for Laras. His features are not visible until school starts. Approximately fifteen minutes after school starts, Barrel appear. lowongan cpns 2009 He headed kearahku and take place in the next, the only place left empty that afternoon. Barrel sat quietly next to and immediately following the lecture. I'm getting nervous. My body started to sweat.
Lecture over. I waited for a chance to talk to him. I deliberately slowed pack while waiting. One by one college friend left the room. Finally, after a relatively quiet room, I dared to talk to him.
"Barrel! May I speak? "
Barrel stop busy cleaning the books and a few scattered papers.
"Yes." He continued his work without looking at me at all.
My hands were shaking. My voice is constricted in the throat.
"Can I help you?" Barrel finally looked at me. He began to look impatient with my attitude. He had finished cleaning his books.
I'm still not able to speak. A cold sweat ran down my body more. Oh God, I was really nervous.
"Ben!" Laras voice rising.
I took a deep breath, trying to calm down for a moment. Yudi, the only friend who was still in the lecture hall turned toward us.
"La .. race ..." My voice faltered.
Barrel at me puzzled.
"Um ... would you ... um ... marry me?" I stammered. Finally, these words came out of my mouth.
Barrel looked surprised. He looked down, thought for a moment. I waited. It was like waiting for a verdict.
"I thought, that's not a good idea." He said after several minutes of silence. "Me first, Bram. Assalamu'alaikum ... "
I was stunned. I was also stunned when Yudi suddenly tapped on the shoulder.
"Is not there a more romantic way, man?" Yudi smiled. I'm embarrassed.
Thus, the process perjodohanku forced aground in the middle of the road. I'm not heartbroken. Of course, since I had never been in love with Barrel. But I admit, I was quite upset by this fact. Apparently, I'm not smart enough to read signs of God. Or, my way is not good? Enroll in the lecture hall without a prologue like that is naive.
That afternoon I came home with a limp. Mama sat on the porch, was busy with the evening paper and a cup of hot tea. After kissing her hand, I threw the body in the chair.
Maybe you could catch kegetiranku. Mama stroked my hair. I'm glad you did not open talks on perjodohanku. I was not ready.
Throughout the afternoon I tried to calm himself. I tried to be realistic to face this reality. I believe, God will provide a companion for me.
My mind is still uncertain when I woke up this morning. I'm praying Istikharah again last night. But this time, I did not get any signal. Finally, I decided to talk to Mama. After all, Nita good girl, too.
I preceded to talk before she asked about my decision.
"Ma ..."
"Yes? Why, Ben? "
"I ..." I paused. I'm just going to continue what I said when an incoming message. I reached for HP lying on the table with reluctance.
Barrel?
What else would he say now? Beat me to open the message.
When I think of it, the idea you're not too bad. The offer still valid?
I was stunned. Life is full of surprises.
"Until when I had to take care of you, Ben?" The question stunned me Mama.
"You mean?" I looked at Mama. Try to guess the direction the conversation.
"Well, is not it time there was another woman who accompanied you breakfast?" She smiled at me.
Maybe it was about time I got married. This year I'm thirty-five years. Income as a manager in one of the foreign companies is sufficient to settle down. Moreover, the expected? This question is very often heard from relatives or colleagues.
I smiled a little.
"I know, you feel responsible to Mom and your sisters. But do not forget that one. She was married, Goddess, too. While Mama had more than enough to receive attention. I'm so grateful to have a child like you. "
I was silent.
"Bram, Papa titip Mira and Mother Goddess ... well ..." Papa whispered softly day before his death, ten years ago. At that time, she had just entered college and the Goddess is still a high school class. Since then, my days filled with hard work to provide for the family.
"Ben ..." You waiting for my answer.
"Yes, yes, God willing. Ma ... "
Mama was right. No more reason for me to delay a family plan. Dewi had been married three months ago. Papa's kutunaikan Amanah. The question is, who she was going to marry? I never went out. I'm afraid to get caught doing bad deeds. Alternative candidates are also not there. So, who's going kulamar?
Actually, I can ask for help to others. Mama, relatives or colleagues would gladly will try to help. However, before asking for help from someone else, I'll pray Istikharah first. I want to go quietly.
And the miracle happened. After two times prayers, suddenly appeared in my dreams Barrel. So clear. Barrel? I was stunned. The barrel was in college in the Post-Graduate. For nearly two this semester I'm going to school in one of PT famous in Jakarta. He is very intelligent and rational. He also often membantaiku in discussions in the lecture hall.
"In my opinion, a theory which you use to analyze this issue is not appropriate. Too forced ... "Comments barrel during the previous week membantaiku came back in my ears. Comments politely say that always made me gelagapan. His comments are always logical, scientific and hard to argue with. Many times I and my friends 'dibantainya'.
Yes, why should Barrel? Women whose personality was so strong and calm, until there was a man who dared to establish a closer relationship with him. Actually a good barrel, very good. He was never reluctant to help others or say rude. But I really hesitate to deal with. Especially the thought of proposing to her.
The dream also leaves it for me. Is this sign of God? Or, I secretly liked it, so the figure appears in my dreams Barrel. I hesitated.
"How, Ben?" I ask for clarification from me two weeks later. I was only able to smile wryly.
"No candidate? What should Mom do? "Mama looked at me.
I stammered. "No, Ma. I will try to find himself alone. "She smiled. I sighed with relief. For a while I managed to calm Mama.
That night, I tried to calm down and started praying Istikharah again. This time, I try to be more calm and resigned to God. I tried to let go of all doubts and earnestly requested his decision.
I walked side by side with the barrel. So close. Barrel smiled. Sweet and very gentle. Dream again! I woke up at three o'clock before dawn. Form still had a strange feeling I felt when I woke up. Beautiful!
Is Barrel is Daya? The question was again playing in my mind. I tried to probe again the clarity of my heart. Really I am not obsessed to the Barrel? I break down again all my interactions with the barrel. Since the first meeting.
"I Barrel!" He introduced himself to the straightforward, without a smile. Also, without a handshake. I just nodded.
"Ben." I said my name. Cold, but pretty decent. It's my first impression. He was not vain or talkative as one of two women who've ever known. As I recall, there never was a special moment between me and Barrel. Really only the relationship between college friend. I'm actually more familiar with Susi, another college friend. I also never felt 'weird' when interacting or passed him. Even when I almost collided with him. All natural and casual.
So? I still doubt. I decided to wait until actually felt confident. And during that waiting period, there was an incident that made me cringe more Laras face.
"Sorry ..." Barrel raised my hand. All eyes were on him. I held my breath. What would he say this time. I waited pounding his comments on kupresentasikan paper.
"In my opinion, this paper does not meet the scientific qualifications." The words he spoke in an apologetic tone. I was surprised. This paper was prepare in a hurry. My job in the office are stacked. Some friends murmured. Professor smiled a little. He's used to dealing Barrel.
I felt insulted and humiliated. This is the harshest comments ever uttered to me Laras. Although then I can accept it when he explained the weaknesses argumentative papers.
The incident made me even more hesitant. I do not know, maybe I was not ready to have a wife who can membantaiku any time. Or question the wisdom as a husband. I was not accustomed to such a question. Position as the eldest child and the family backbone make my sisters and Mama in a special treat. What it says Mas, Mas ... Always up that I heard from them. Even if they do not agree with me, no one had ever expressed disapproval straightly. So also with subordinates in the office.
I do not dare confront the more after the event. So, for now I have to calm down again. But pressure from Mom three days ago made me compelled to act.
"Bram, maybe it's time for Mama's help. For a month, and you have not acted anything. Mama's getting older, Bram. Lately, Mom more often sick. Mama does not want to happen something about Mama before you get married ... "She said half-pleading. I looked down.
"Bram ..."
I looked at Mama. Mom took a deep breath. I waited for Mama to speak.
"If three days there was no decision, Mama's going to find candidates for you. You know Nita? Son of Mrs. Retno? Good woman, you know ... She's also beautiful and educated ... "Blah ... blah ... blah. Nearly fifteen minutes Mama told me about Nita. I know Nita. Nita is good, but that's not the issue. I want to solve the problem first barrel.
There is no other way. Finally, my heart kumantapkan to talk with Barrel. But, how? Over the phone? Barrel phone numbers I do not have. Or, to talk to him directly? What if he refused and as he massacred membantaiku papers?
Finally, I decided to ask for phone numbers of Susi Barrel. I managed to dodge the question by giving it a form of Susi strange smile. Fortunately, he did not inquire further.
That night, I tried calling Barrel. I held my Hp is not feeling karuan. With trembling hands I called.
"Hello, Assalamu'alaykum!" His voice was firm. Suddenly I felt not ready to talk to him.
"Hello! Hello! "
I turned off my Hp. Looser! I muttered to myself. I'm really helpless.
"Bram, time to live today." She looked at me seriously when I said goodbye this morning.
"Yes, Ma. I try. "I replied hesitantly.
So, today, would not want me to talk with Barrel. I went to college with nervous. Arriving at the campus, I was looking for Laras. His features are not visible until school starts. Approximately fifteen minutes after school starts, Barrel appear. lowongan cpns 2009 He headed kearahku and take place in the next, the only place left empty that afternoon. Barrel sat quietly next to and immediately following the lecture. I'm getting nervous. My body started to sweat.
Lecture over. I waited for a chance to talk to him. I deliberately slowed pack while waiting. One by one college friend left the room. Finally, after a relatively quiet room, I dared to talk to him.
"Barrel! May I speak? "
Barrel stop busy cleaning the books and a few scattered papers.
"Yes." He continued his work without looking at me at all.
My hands were shaking. My voice is constricted in the throat.
"Can I help you?" Barrel finally looked at me. He began to look impatient with my attitude. He had finished cleaning his books.
I'm still not able to speak. A cold sweat ran down my body more. Oh God, I was really nervous.
"Ben!" Laras voice rising.
I took a deep breath, trying to calm down for a moment. Yudi, the only friend who was still in the lecture hall turned toward us.
"La .. race ..." My voice faltered.
Barrel at me puzzled.
"Um ... would you ... um ... marry me?" I stammered. Finally, these words came out of my mouth.
Barrel looked surprised. He looked down, thought for a moment. I waited. It was like waiting for a verdict.
"I thought, that's not a good idea." He said after several minutes of silence. "Me first, Bram. Assalamu'alaikum ... "
I was stunned. I was also stunned when Yudi suddenly tapped on the shoulder.
"Is not there a more romantic way, man?" Yudi smiled. I'm embarrassed.
Thus, the process perjodohanku forced aground in the middle of the road. I'm not heartbroken. Of course, since I had never been in love with Barrel. But I admit, I was quite upset by this fact. Apparently, I'm not smart enough to read signs of God. Or, my way is not good? Enroll in the lecture hall without a prologue like that is naive.
That afternoon I came home with a limp. Mama sat on the porch, was busy with the evening paper and a cup of hot tea. After kissing her hand, I threw the body in the chair.
Maybe you could catch kegetiranku. Mama stroked my hair. I'm glad you did not open talks on perjodohanku. I was not ready.
Throughout the afternoon I tried to calm himself. I tried to be realistic to face this reality. I believe, God will provide a companion for me.
My mind is still uncertain when I woke up this morning. I'm praying Istikharah again last night. But this time, I did not get any signal. Finally, I decided to talk to Mama. After all, Nita good girl, too.
I preceded to talk before she asked about my decision.
"Ma ..."
"Yes? Why, Ben? "
"I ..." I paused. I'm just going to continue what I said when an incoming message. I reached for HP lying on the table with reluctance.
Barrel?
What else would he say now? Beat me to open the message.
When I think of it, the idea you're not too bad. The offer still valid?
I was stunned. Life is full of surprises.