What should I do? Give me advice! I was really dizzy.
If this protracted problem and I do not immediately find a solution, I fear will adversely affect the health condition and my activities in the community. More-over of two my jewelry a sweet tooth: Ariel and Cut Tari video.
But to be clear, let me tell you in advance from the beginning.
I was born and grew up in a family-say - sufficiency. I was blessed with God's face is quite lovely and charming physique. Since childhood I had a "prima donna" family. Both my parents were, though not spoiled, very loved.
At school, started elementary school until high school, I was - thank God-and also loved the teachers and my friends. Moreover, I frequently represent the school in competitions and not infrequently I became champion.
While in elementary school I won the first ever dance competition. When I got the trophy in the junior singing competition. Even when high school I never read poetry contest to win the provincial level.
But really, I never dreamed I finally became artists in the capital city it is today. My ideals from childhood I wanted to be in every trial lawyer who became a star, as I often see in movies. It's because when I was only a few semesters in college, I won a photo contest model. Then offered a soap opera, and ultimately fun to play movies. Did not continue my education.
Like most popular artists in this country, I would then become the target of the companies for the manufacture of advertising; asked to be a presenter in the ceremonial events; be hosted on the tv-tv; actually not uncommon to be invited for presentation in seminars with leaders intellectual figures. The latter, I might just be interesting tool enthusiasts. But what rugiku? I was given a standard fee of origin, I do not care.
About college that does not continue, I consoled myself by telling myself, "Ah, you do not have to learn in college. After all the lectures right edges to find the material. I'm not a lawyer and star of the court, not why; not now I've become superbintang. The material is enough. "
Indeed as women who have no husband, I'm pretty proud of my life that virtually all-sufficiency. I've been able to buy their own home which is quite beautiful in the region's elite. Everywhere there was a car ready to drive. In short I am proud to be an independent woman. No longer dependent on parents. Even now I can pretty much help in their economic life in the village. While many of my friends who've graduated from college, still looking for a job neglected.
Sometimes parents just to please people, I invite them from their homes. My mom who usually comment on what nosy and menasehatiku do this and that, now looks like I think I actually adults. Whether reality or simply because so reluctant to his son who is now completely independent living. What remains to always remind mothers, either directly or through the mail, is a matter of worship.
"Nduk, worship is important. Sibukmu However, you should not ignore the prayer!"
"A time to read the Quran you've learned while in the ward once, in order not to lose."
"If you have more food, do not forget to give alms to the poor and orphans."
Yes, that's kind of sentences that are still often he wiridkan. At first, I did notice, even I tried to implement that advice, but with the increasing volume of my activities, after a long time I was actually embarrassed, thinking that the wind went right.
As an artist well known, of course many people who mengidolakanku. But no one who admired it before I become as famous as today. No. He did not just mengidolakanku. He menyintaiku the finish. This he showed not only with the almost always present at the event-event in which I appear, he is also loyal menungguiku shoting a movie and took me home. Not only that. Almost every day, when far apart, he's always the phone or sending an SMS which is often simply to declare miss.
Among those who admired me, man this one does have advantages. He was a successful businessman. Young, handsome, polite, and attentive. In short, I was finally subdued in the face of persistence and patience. I managed to dipersuntingnya. I need not tell you how much fun our wedding party at the time. Press preach it every day for almost two full weeks. Certainly the happiest is that my parents did for a long time I wanted to end the period immediately lajangku which according to them worrying.
Thus, in the early days of marriage, things went fine. After a brief honeymoon, I went back to my activities as usual. My husband did not mind. Until finally something happened that completely changed the way in life.
A few months after Ragil, my second child was born, my husband's company went bankrupt because of the monetary crisis. We, especially my husband, was not prepared to deal with unexpected situations that did this. He was so upset and like to lose balance. Temperament changed completely. He was so taciturn and irritable. His speech also did not like before, now seemed very cynical and harsh. He used to be rarely out of the night, almost every night out and a new home after the early morning. I do not know what he was doing out there. Several times I asked he always get angry, I never again asked.
Fortunately, though somewhat subsided, I still keep getting contract work. Thus, with little savings, the need for daily living not too bothered. What exactly harmonious family relationships disrupted due to changes in husband's behavior. It seems anything can be a problem. It seems whatever I do, one in the eyes of my husband. Instead I think it was he who never do things right. Fights happen almost every day.
At first, I relented. I do not want the children watching their parents fight. But eventually I could not resist. And the kids were finally heard shouts from the mouths of coarse their parents, something that had been considered taboo in our house. Jove. I could not stop my tears every imagined gaze of the boys did not understand when watching their parents fight.
The truth is often a fellow artist friend invited me to follow the activities that they refer to as instruction or a treat. They carry out these activities on a regular basis and held at their home in rotation. But I only got interested to join in this activity after the crisis struck my household. Is this just a flight or - hopefully - it is God's guidance. Obviously I was getting kind of peace when in the midst of the assembly instruction. There was something that touched my soul's deepest, both when the ustadz talking about impermanence of life in this world and eternal life later in the hereafter, about death and charity as the stock, as well as invites congregational dhikr.
After that, I was so broody. Thinking about myself and my life. I'm no longer fighting her husband's invitation to serve. Or rather I did not have time for that. I became more diligent in following the doctrine: not only held his friends artists, but also include a recitation recitation-which was held in my neighborhood. Not only that, but I'm also keen to read religious books.
My time was consumed by activities outside the home. Besides my job as an artist, I enjoy teaching activities. Especially after one of ustadz trust me to be an "assistant" him. If he is absent, I was asked to fill teaching. This is what sparked my excitement to be more diligent reading religious books. O yes, I have not told me that I have always followed fashion and usually that leads to the protrusion of my fascination, I had to stop since my return from Umrah with my friends. Since then I always wear clothes that cover the aurat Muslim. In fact my hijab and then become a trend followed by the Muslimat.
Brief stories; than just as a artist, I developed and improved to "community leaders" that counts. Since there are many mothers who often ask me about various family problems, I and my friends had established a kind of consulting firm, which we call "Family Consultation Bureau sakinah Prima Donna." I also have to meet the invitations - not just a drawer "interest" as before - as a resource in discussions about issues of religious, socio-civic, and even politics. Not to mention the many invitations from organizers who intentionally organized the forum just to ask me to talk about how my life until the artist's trip could be like this now.
With status like that with the volume of community activities that are so high, his own household living conditions as before I tell you, of course increasingly neglected. I have less and less at home. If it was in the house, my attention was the lack of children; especially towards her husband just increasingly annoying behavior. And, frankly, because of her husband, indeed I did not feel at home again in my own home.
Then something happened that made me upset. One day, accidentally, I found something suspicious. In my husband's room, I found a hand-rolled marijuana cigarette. Initially I said nothing, but the next day I found again and again. Finally I would ask him that. At first he was like shocked, but then admitted it and promised to stop it.
But some time later I was surprised as hell. When I was a new drive will go for a business, show my driver package and said: "This belongs to whom, ma'am?"
"What's that?" I asked blankly.
"This stuff is dangerous, ma'am," he worried, "It's marijuana. Can severe if caught!"
"Masha'Allah!" I stroked my chest. Until we know there are drivers such goods. It was too much.
After I destroy the stuff, I soon met my husband and spoke, weeping. Again he confessed and promised to give up, never again touched the forbidden goods. But as I suspected, after that I still always find the stuff in his room. I thought, lest the rude behavior was caused by his addiction to consume dangerous goods. Furthermore I am worried about its effect on children.
Frankly I can not stand it anymore. It occurred to me that hard to get a divorce just for the sake kemaslahatanku and primarily benefit children. But with widespread trend among married-divorced actress, many parties, especially the fans, my fans who express admiration and praise of the life of my household harmony. How did this when they suddenly heard - and no doubt will hear - his idol who is divorced sakinah family consultant? Even more important is the effect on the future of my children. I've often heard about the misfortune that befall the children of divorced parents. I'm confused.
What should I do? Do I have to sacrifice for the sake of my household kemasyarakatanku activities, or should I stop community activities for the sake of the integrity of my household? Or how? Give me advice! I was really dizzy!